“Okay, here we go. Another feminist, another article about how men do not treat women right and how they tolerate us without saying a word. I mean 50 years ago, women could not do anything they do now. Yet, they always have something to complain about. I am sick of this “trend” that has been going on. You can vote, talk, go out.. what more do they want?”
Hey guys. I am a simple, geeky and shy student with loud ideas and perceptions. I understand sometimes it can be exhausting. The entire world is preaching about a very popular topic, feminism or sexism. Now, those who understand feminism know that it is about equality and not about being superior. We want equal things for both sexes. It is easy to misunderstand the whole concept of this term because we always stand up for women, right? Men need some standing up too. God knows I have seen some toxic masculinity. The reason we are working twice as hard for women is because well, we do not get taken seriously. It’s true. Anytime, any girl is being emotional, people just ask them to “CALM DOWN”. We have been fighting this battle for decades now. Its time we fight for both genders. So, I am going to split this into two sections; sexist things men hear and sexist things women hear. Shall we begin?
Women are constantly judged for everything, and that is no new information. Let me just point to the issues that are sexist towards women.
1. Marriage and motherhood
This generation does not quite believe in the concept of marriage. Ask anyone. All of them would say the say thing, “I don’t wanna get married”. Problem arises when a woman says it. Now, I understand back in the day, people would regret having baby girls because of so many reasons (dowry, reputation, dads can’t really rely on them for “technical stuff”). So, they would find a good husband to “take care” of her. Times have changed. That is not all what we want now. Heck, I want a mansion, five cars and 10 dogs. Who’s to say I can’t have em all? I have seen people get surprised or shocked when a woman says “I am not interested in getting married”. Speaking of dogs, I love them. More than children. No, I am not less of a girl. No, that does not mean I hate children. I don’t want to be tied down to the idea of becoming of mother is the ultimate goal. Because guess what, I have other goals. Somehow, this ideas don’t apply to men because they are expected to behave that way. They have their own pressures after marriage. We’ll get to that later.
Alright, we can work. We have good jobs now. But are we really getting paid equally? It is proven everywhere that men get paid a little higher than women. Come on, now. We have to work twice as hard to prove to our bosses that we’re not idiots. Of course, some employers could take this a little too seriously. They would offer a promotion or job or internship if we are willing to pleasure them sexually. Sexual harassment is not a joke, guys. See those sexual harassment posters around in Monash? Call any of the numbers listed if you need help. Don’t hesitate.
3. Subtle undertones of sexism
Ah, this. This right here is what I face almost every week. ” Your bra strap is showing” “You put too much make up” “Who are you trying to impress?” I am going to be very clear here. Whatever I do, is none of your business unless I give you the permission to criticize me, then go ahead, there’s always room for improvement. Girls do not need constant validation from people. I choose comfort over decency. I choose looking nice for myself. This is all for me by me. Okay? Straight men, a word of advice? When you say things like, “I’ll protect you.I’ll pay for your meals. You girls shop too much. You girls gossip too much. You wouldn’t get it, it’s financial matters”, that ain’t sweet. That’s sexism, sweetheart.
Alright, men this right here is for you. I’m about to speak up things for gay or straight men. Come out of your shell. Be proud. Be expressive. It is okay to have emotions. And yes, MEN DO CRY.
1. Doing anything “feminine”
I have seen guys taking care of their skin which is great! You should! I have seen guys wearing pink or any kind of jewelry. Guys who are feminist and believes in equal rights wouldn’t find a problem at those statements. Guys who get so jacked up on their testosterone, yeah hi, I’m talking to you. Guys can wear whatever they want, take care of their skin and hygiene and still be straight. 50% of the beauty gurus are men. They are killing it with their make up looks and style. So, I am not really sure what is bothering you so much. In fact, I admire guys who take care of themselves rather than being sloppy. And yes, it is okay to NOT BEING ABLE TO GROW A BEARD. That does not define your manhood.
2. Pressure of providing
Sometimes, men get stressed about their income because they are drilled with idea of being the provider of the house. That stuff does not apply anymore. We’ve got both genders working. It is not up to you to spend all your hard earned money into family expenses. You get to save some for yourself and your partner gets to as well. Share and provide to your family. Seriously, no pressure. Do your thing. Take your time. You’ll get there.
3. Not doing anything manly
LOL. Okay, sensitive issue coming up. I don’t quite know any guy that doesn’t watch porn but if you are out there, well, you are definitely being criticized by your bros right now. As for the ladies, okay, we don’t even know what porn is. Whatchu talking bout’? This is one the major stereotypes in the world. Guys and girls, you know when people say porn is educational, it is biology? Sorry to say this, but it is true. Because we live in a country where even talking about sex is wrong. We are so repressed. How do you expect young teenagers to not be curious at all? It is possible that teenage pregnancies are a common thing because teenagers want to know about their bodies. They end up watching porn to educate themselves (mostly). If you’re a guy, and you don’t watch porn, it does not matter at all. Because guys are expected to behave such ways. Another quick example is drinking. Okay, so I am a brown girl with brown friends. Like, do I need to explain more? I am stereotyping but Indians love to drink (sorry for the racist remark, its all good. Hehe!). Based on my observations, guys love ‘challenging’ each other to chug a whole can of beer or any liquor straight from the bottle for few seconds. Listen, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. You don’t have to fit in. Being sober is the new cool thing! (That was lame.)
Alright, so there you have it! I didn’t mean to stereotype anyone or generalize anybody’s actions. I keep seeing hints of sexism and wonder to myself, like why do we do it? We can live in peace. Everyone is important. The most important thing to remember here is to remove toxic people from your life and you’ll be okay. You do you.
Hope you guys have a great day! XO