Romantic feelings are sometimes so much more complicated than we’d all like it to be. Your emotions sometimes go out of control and logic can be thrown out the window when you see them around. Though, having patience and having the heart to accept things as they come tends to help heal the heart faster.
Last semester, a close friend of mine questioned me, “If he told you to wait for him until the end of his degree, would you?”
“If that’s what’s best, sure,” I replied.
Fast forward to last week when she and I were walking to my car. She asked me,“Would you be fine if he doesn’t end up with you?”
I thought about it for a second. Remembering how close I hold this boy to my heart and the euphoric feeling I get whenever we’re together, I turned to my friend and smiled,“Yeah, that’s alright.”
It’s not a secret among my small group of friends, the amount of courage I’ve managed to muster up to approach him in the past few months, despite being socially shy and awkward. He has taken me far out of my own comfort zone that at times, I get terrified and even contemplated about giving up on everything.
However, the second he flashes his prince charming smile at me, some part of me just wants to keep trying.
With time passing by and we’re already at the end of August, there have been moments when I’d wonder how much different things would go in my life if we never met.
He makes me extremely happy and seeing him smile will always be the highlight of my day.
Before I head to campus, I tend to pray that he’d have a good day, that whatever happens he’ll have the determination and stay strong.
We’re slowly becoming friends and even though I’m not used to the pace that he has set, I remind myself everyday that the best things come to those who wait.
Despite all that, as much as I’d do so much to make him stay by my side, if that’s not what’s destined for us, I’d let him go with peace in my mind knowing that I’ve done everything I could. He has motivated me so much these past few months, he deserves someone who would positively impact his life like has on mine.
This is something that I’ve managed to learn from a lot of experience and trauma from previous interests in people. In the past, I would become extremely devastated if the person I liked ended up with someone else – though, don’t be mistaken, I always back off the second they have someone in their life.
But with this current boy, for him, I feel nothing but the purest form of affection. No lust, no selfishness, no possessive behaviour. All I would ever wish for him, is what’s best for him.
If we’re meant to be, then time and fate will make it so. If we’re not, we both deserve someone who would be what’s best for the other.
Of course, I have no say in anyone’s love life. However, patience is an important key in any kind of bond you would want to create with someone, romantically or platonically.