Hey y’all! Welcome back to the first post of 2019!

I mean, we’re all the way in April by now, but hey, same difference.

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New year, new semester, new you, right?

Even if the change of the seasons isn’t a motivational factor, and let’s be real when you’re dyeing your hair, you honestly don’t need a reason to do so… when isn’t it a good idea to spice up your look a little?

As a wise person has probably once said, “Change is a permanent factor, so dye your hair temporary colours and be done with this philosophical BS”.

1. You’ll be a million times easier to spot in a crowd

Ever had one of those days where you’ve slunk down a little further into your seat and wished you were invisible? You know, the kinda day where you’d rather keep your shoulders slouched and eyes down? On a small campus like ours, running into people you know is an inevitability, even when you’re trying not to be seen. It’s easy enough to do when you can blend in seamlessly into an ocean of students shuttling between classes but when you’ve got a brightly coloured signpost indicating who and where you are, that can become a problem. Of course, that’s only focusing on the negative; on the bright side, you’ll probably never get too lost from your squad at a crowded event! Think about all the calling and data credit you’ll save by becoming that hypervisible landmark.

2. You automatically become That Friend With The XYZ Hair.

Stereotypes, whenever applied, generally tend to stick pretty hard. I’ve been addressed as ‘that girl with the green hair’ more times than I can count and many a conversation has been started along the lines of “Hey, that’s a cool hair colour, how’d you get it?” and thus, a label is born.

3. Showering becomes a tactical effort to save your hard earned $$ from quite literally going down the drain.

Speaking from too many years of experience with crazy hair colours, they are as temporary as they are beautiful; here one moment, gone the next. Sad fluttery thoughts aside, your hair dye will come off in the wash, but there are ways to minimise sending all your money down the pipe with the suds. First of all, don’t shower in hot water! I personally would rather die than take a shower that isn’t approximately skin-cooking temperature worthy, so if you’re in the same boat, leave the hair till last and tough out the few minutes it’ll take to scrub your roots. Alternatively, don’t wash your hair and hope it doesn’t become sentient. (Feed me, Seymour!)

4. White shirts and sheets are hit or miss (I guess they never miss, huh!)

This is a tribute to all my poor white pillowcases that’ve been bleached to their bones because I’ve absentmindedly lay down on them after a shower. Whatever remaining dye that’d managed to survive the shower has now all been helpfully absorbed by my sheets, never to be washed out by even the most concentrated washes of Clorox. Rip in peace IKEA pillows. Also, avoid white shirts after the first couple of washes– unless you’re into the whole tie-dye hippie movement.

5. Money?? Who she?? Your only friends are conditioner and hair masks now.

This one speaks for itself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my coloured hair but oh boy if I went a single (1) day without slathering on an industrial volume of conditioner in the shower and like double the amount of leave-in after that, I’d literally turn into the cackling hag from Snow White. Just the hair texture though. I think.

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It’s kinda pricey to keep your hair soft and not-crunchy, but so incredibly worth it when people go oH iS yOuR hAiR dAmAgEd?¿ only to find out that it isn’t a sad fried mess. Take that, Susan.

 

6. Here there be split ends.

Conditioner keeps your hair from being super dry, but that bleach will still take a toll on your hair. If regular hair trims can’t be fitted into your routine, that’s okay! Because once you start getting split ends, your hair basically does the job of cutting itself for you! (Oof, a little harsh but it’s the truth). Realistically speaking though, the bleach that you have to use to get your hair to a shade where temporary dye will show up will seriously mess with the disulfide bonds holding together your hair’s structure. The lighter the hair, the weaker it is, and the more likely it is to break off. My advice? Try to minimise the rounds of bleach you’ll have to go through to get your desired colour and weigh out the benefits of cool hair dyes and the downfalls of brittle, split-ended hair. Olaplex helps too though, apparently.

 

7. No outfit is ever a boring one when your hair looks like you just walked out of a clown car.

I personally have the sense of style of a disaffected, monochrome emo from the mid-2010s, so having the colour in my hair really brings the look to life, and reminds the people around me that I am still a long way away from joining the Black Parade. It’s pretty fun to match the colour of your hair to your outfits or to choose shirts that clash violently with your hair colour of choice to bring attention to yourself, and I enjoy the challenge of making faded greige hair work with every other colour in my wardrobe. There really are no downsides to this and there’ll never be a dull day in your closet once you head down the path of bleach and chemicals.

 

8. You might have some regrets when it fades…

Bright purple to pastel pink to a questionably warm shade of Bleached Asian Hair. Not the best shade, but admittedly also not the worst. Temporary colours look fantastic for the first two weeks, but without time and effort spent looking after it, can quickly fade into a vague smorgasbord of ashy tones. It’s definitely still a cool look to rock, but if that’s not what you’re going for, be wary and buy tubes of hair dye for a DIY colour touchup to avoid the pricey costs of salon work.

 

9. … but you’ll probably go back for more

I started getting my hair dyed in 2015, and while I’ve taken breaks from poster colour blues and purples, it’s always been fun to walk into a salon and exit as a changed person. Even with all the pitfalls of dry hair, trips to the salon, and generally disapproving looks from any adult above the age of 40, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s addictive and fun to see yourself cycle through different looks as time goes on.

 

10. In the end, hair is just dead streams of keratin extruding from your scalp. NBD.

Still got qualms about going under the salon worker’s magic paintbrush of colour? That’s totally valid. It’s a pricey fashion statement that takes time out of your day and cash from your wallet with its maintenance for a temporary look that you might not even like. However, dyeing your hair is a fun experience you should try at least once. If you don’t like it, it’ll grow out eventually, but who’s to say you won’t?

 

Hair is art is hair. I hope this helped if you were on the fence @ doing wonderfully terrible things to your hair, see y’all in the next article!

 


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