People could be extremely nice to you, to your face but then the second you turn you back, they turn into this whole different person who you wouldn’t even recognize. The second you find out about this side of that person, you might either want to talk about it to them, or like most people, you’d just cut them off.
It’s a dilemma I’ve seen a lot of people go through this semester, possibly because it’s my third year and everyone’s just ‘done’ with everything and trying to graduate without any drama.
No one wants negativity in their life and it’s usually our first option is to immediately cut this person off from our lives because isn’t it always easier to walk away from complicated situations than facing them?
When considering the options, cutting the person off because of what they’ve done is usually the most simple thing to do. But there’s always the possibility that the problem can be resolved through some simple communication and forgiving one another if you find out where the problem originated from.
However, we need to remember that forgiving people should take time rather than immediately letting them off the hook because there’s always the possibility that forgiving them immediately will let them take advantage of your kind heart. Therefore, it’s usually best to bring up the problem and give yourself some space between you and this person, then talk to each other when both of you realize what caused everything to go wrong. I believe this is the best way is because:
- Give yourself some time to heal from the hurt
- Give them some time to reflect on what they’ve done
- Both of you need time to cool down so there won’t be a full blown argument
If you’ve known me in real life, I have a forgiving heart to where I believe that everyone has some space in their life to grow and they can only grow if they’re willing to learn. Despite that, I do believe that sometimes the hurt someone has done to you can be unforgivable.
Forgiving people can be difficult, especially if you’re extremely offended and hurt, but negativity towards that person isn’t going to change anything at the end of the day. So cry for a few minutes, cry for a few days if you have to, but always remember that you could learn from them and always be the bigger person in the situation.
“You can learn from someone who’s good and you can also learn from someone who’s bad.”
I learned that you shouldn’t do what they do. I’m able to talk about this while smiling because I’m thankful.
Even if someone treats me in a violent, wrongful manner, I won’t hate them. I’ll be thankful because they taught me. They’ll have a lot to learn once they enter society but I’ve already learned it from them.” – Lai Kuan Lin.