Today’s post is going to be a little different from the usual list-icle folks.
Here are my feelings about socializing as a relatively low-energy introvert. I used to be pretty shy and reclusive, so this is what works best for me, but do bear in mind that everyone works differently!
1. You don’t need to be ‘onz’ for everything.
The advice: Just a disclaimer, being high-energy, outgoing and trying to get more involved is great! However, I’ve definitely had days where I’ve overspent my ‘social energy’ and ended up crashing and burning. It’s through no fault of the people I was around though because being around people can be tiring sometimes. It’s fine to say no sometimes and it definitely doesn’t make you closed-off, or antisocial. Maximise your energy by taking part in activities or social events you know you’ll enjoy, and skip out on the ones you won’t.
My personal thoughts: The fear of missing out on something fun doesn’t feel great. I’ve declined offers to hang out because I wasn’t feeling up to it, and while I wonder what my friends get up to without me, it’s the more responsible thing to do in the long run for my own wellbeing. I’ve lost a night or two of productivity over the demotivation and tiredness that follows a crash and burn.
2. Take days off, being alone isn’t always a bad thing.
The advice: Having lazy days on a weekend is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to recuperate from an exhausting week. Sleep in a little longer, play chill music (tune into Radio Monash!) and do the things you like. Sure, it’s not the most productive thing to do on a weekend, but it definitely beats feeling antisocial and blue in the middle of the week when there’s still another few days of socialising to go.
My personal thoughts: Sometimes, my days get so busy I kind of look forward to the weekend. It’s nice for me to have that reassurance that I can have my me-time later in the week if my schedule is looking packed from Monday to Friday. There’s a strange solace I find in the near-silence of a room late at night, when the rest of the world sleeps. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not loneliness I’m looking for, but simply being alone.
3. Real friends will always like you for you.
The advice: You might feel like a drag at times if you’re not going out with your friends, but they shouldn’t be feeling that way about you; good friends stick by you at your highs and lows. That includes being okay with you having days where you’re not necessarily down for conversations. Of course, that doesn’t include bailing on people you’ve made plans with because you don’t feel like it (that’s a whole different story) but instead, letting them know in advance that you’re not feeling 100% so they’ll understand when you’re not down for lunch, dinner or a night out.
My personal thoughts: I’m incredibly lucky to have friends that get it when I’m feeling a little reclusive. I do worry that I’m not being a good friend by choosing to have days without them, but it’s honestly the best thing to do. You’re not your best self when you’re tired of being social, and if I were to force myself to be social when I’m not in the mood, it’d just be a lose-lose situation. It’s important to have friends that understand that.
I hope you guys liked today’s post! It’s a bit more ramble-y than usual, but I do hope it helps y’all introverts out there! Let me know what you think in the comments below!