“So what? You’re going to tell me that that’s a very Leo thing to do? Where’s the science behind that?”
Does that sound familiar? I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve talked to or have seen someone on my Twitter timeline who, for whatever reason, felt the need to have that as a closing statement whenever the topic of astrology or personality tests or anything of that sort had been brought up. Weirdly enough, those openly sceptic looks would usually come from men. They may be willing enough to do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) questionnaire at your request and they might even let you know their time/place of birth for you to learn of their natal chart but that’s the extent of it. Which is completely fine, sure; you don’t have to believe any of the things that appear in your results.
But why make women feel so stupid for indulging in such harmless interests?
This goes beyond your sun and moon and your planets, beyond the cards that are pulled out during your tarot readings. Women have been made to feel inferior for liking pretty much anything that may interest them. The absurdity of it all is how early it starts. Young girls have long been scrutinized for liking what they like without much rationale. They are painted as overbearing fangirls who are off the rails, obsessive and willing-to-blow-their-parents’-cash on any commodity related to their favourite boyband (oh, that distinction is important too. They like boybands, not real bands). They’re made fun of for crying over the Korean melodrama that they’ve been keeping up with and are picked on for not minding the clichés found in romantic comedies. Women are also perceived as having put on a façade when expressing their interests in stuff like video games or sports or comic book culture and if their interests were to be validated, they would most certainly be validated by a man and would automatically be viewed in a higher regard compared to other women. Because men like “cool girls”, right?
Source: Gone Girl (2014)
Ironically, these interests aren’t exclusive to women. Men can indulge in these very same things and there would be no problem whatsoever with it. Who says they can’t mention how JC Chasez sends a shot of electricity down their spine every time he does his runs and riffs in any N’Sync song? Why can’t they openly talk about having people such as Ava DuVernay or Emily V. Gordon be their driving force in wanting to enter the film industry? Why should they get strange looks if they were to express their appreciation for Chris Evans’ derriere when he’s in his Captain America suit? We’re all thinking it anyways.
What exactly is the issue? Well, for starters, men who can’t seem to let not only women enjoy things peacefully but also feel the need to dictate what other men get to take pleasure in. Because every guy needs to have Pulp Fiction or The Godfather as their favourite film of all time and would feel compelled to quote something from Fight Club with any given opportunity. Because every guy should look at women and see nothing but something that is to be attained, something to be owned. Because every guy should douse themselves in body spray just as a teenage boy would in order to conceal the stench of raging hormones and sweaty pits. Men who cannot seem to swallow the fact that restrictive gender norms are detrimental to an individual’s personal growth and constantly shove this non-existent, unspoken guideline of what it means to be a Real Man down everyone’s throats.
Women aren’t entirely innocent in this debate either. A handful of women perpetuate the same misogynistic notions and do nothing to challenge the current state today’s patriarchal society. Granted, there has been a great improvement in gender discourse when comparing to how things used to be but God, we sure have a long way to go.
What exactly am I getting at? It seems to me that, the majority of the time, people who find joy in “feminine” interests, regardless of how they identify themselves, are criticized simply because those things are seen as “feminine”. Femininity is often times equated to being overtly emotional and irrational, surely not a source of which you’d turn to when searching for a reliable, voice of reason, right?
TLDR: Just don’t do/like/act as a woman would. Feminine=bad. Masculine=good!
To conclude, I’m here to tell you that you should, by no means, sacrifice parts of your “nonsensical” pastime in hopes of appeasing others because, honestly, who cares about how those people perceive you? Stop trying to fit into the mould of what you think will make others find you more desirable. Like Amy Dunne, it’s time to put aside the idea of succumbing to the role of being a “cool girl” (though perhaps minus her extreme take on revenge). Look up to both Chazelle and Gerwig, scream at the top of your lungs, be it at a Kpop concert or a football match. Be shamelessly transparent with who you really are and embrace yourself because, at the end of the day, that is what makes you cool.