Sexual Attraction

 

I didn’t understand it and I probably never will.

It is a force both enticing and random. Powerful but subtle.

It exists in every single conscious being. Except for some.

Some can’t feel it. Some don’t see it. Some just plainly are oblivious to it.

 

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Sexuality at its core deals with the notion of attraction. Attraction to what exactly is subjective to the individual currently expressing said attraction. And with attraction, notes of love, affection, trust and acceptance may or may not come along the way.

I want this. I want love. I want affection. I want trust. I want to be accepted. These very statements are universal. Nearly, if not all, humans want all or most of these things, including me. But, there is a catch.

I have no interest in sex. I have no need for it. I derive no pleasure in the thought of it. I place no importance in the very concept of it. And that is just me. And it is okay to be like this. Because humans can be asexual too.

Asexuality? What is that? What does that mean? Why does it exist?

Definition-wise, it is simply the lack of sexual attraction towards other people. Not to be confused with gray-sexuality which refers to the grey area between those who possess sexual attraction towards others and those who don’t. Now, it is worth noting that being an asexual does not mean that your views on sex is permanent or unwavering. One can still have sex or partake in sexual acts but still derive no sexual pleasure or sexual desire to do more. It literally refers to the absence of physical, yet sexual attraction towards others.

I don’t get it? Does being an asexual mean that you are not into dating or having romantic relationships?

No, not at all. On the contrary, asexuals can or want to be in a relationship with other people. Being an asexual does not limit us from us from having romantic or loving thoughts towards someone. There is a hazy line that most people do not understand which is the border between physical attraction and non-physical attraction. It can be argued that both do go hand in hand but for us asexuals, it is simply not the case. We are very much capable or want to be in romantic relationships but for us, we omit or don’t need the sexual attraction that comes along with it. A very good analogy would be that we are in love with someones heart, mind and soul, devoid of anything sexual.

Do these people even exist? I have never met one

That’s because we don’t simply express our sexuality openly. We are still very much a minority and often times, we are not understood by people. So, we hide. We shelter ourselves around people who do accept us and love us in return. Also, you could just ask us, Brenda. It’s 2019, at this point in time, being open with your sexuality is becoming the norm. But, do give us some time yeah?

Hi, I am an asexual. Will I ever be accepted?

Hi, asexual. It is nice to meet you! And the answer to that question is that the journey and the process will be a long one. Even now, I am still deep in my discovery phase, continuously asking myself what I am as a person. Remember, your sexuality is your business and it is something nobody will never understand except you. My advice would be to find people who you can trust, people who are capable of loving you beyond your sexuality and most importantly, you have to learn to accept and love yourself first. Why? Because at the end of the day, there is no one who can make the first step for you except yourself. But, take your time. Chill out. Enjoy your life. Your sexuality does not define you because only you can do that.

 

That’s all for now for my part! I hope you guys enjoyed this article despite it being a little unconventional or even unheard of but I really wanted to open the floor for those who aren’t able to. All in all, remember to always respect the boundaries of others, and consent is always a must in these matters. Cheers!


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